Bad Romance - Eh?

All summer Lady Gaga's Bad Romance has been itching in my brain. I get into it. I dance. I sing along to one of the many choruses. I appreciate it. But then I stop listening to it, it fades, and I don't have a huge desire to go after it... but there is an itch. A pause when I listen.

I know what it is too. When I listen to song lyrics, I appropriate the lyrics I hear as my own version of the song. (I hear melody more than lyrics, which is why I am not a good person to go ask what the lyrics to a song are). The hesitation to join in the song is that I feel too closely to the desperation that the subject of the song is singing about. She wants a bad romance, because it is romance - she'll take a bad one over nothing at all. And by the end, she's calling out over the normal chorus in a more soulful voice (full chest voice?).

Sometimes, saying what you want is the most difficult thing to do. It reveals something about you. It reveals a lack, because if you want it that means you do not necessarily have the object or experience readily available to you. It also tells people where your thoughts are - that when you sit and stare into space this 'want' could be the thing on your mind. Or it could be something completely different, but we wouldn't know looking at you. It it not necessarily an obsession, however, as wants are impulse and quick to fade as well. I could really want a cookie - but get one bite into a delicious oatmeal no-bake and feel satisfied and done with my action.

The feeling of relishing something you do not have is clear and precise. There's you, or I in this case, and the thing. There's the pull between. And there's the barrier - namely reality - that blocks all options and cannot be transgressed. I don't do well with barriers unless I don't see them. But as soon as they are there, as soon as they appear in the slightest, all is lost.

Should I learn to cross barriers? Or should I learn to disbelieve in them?

I do not know why I have so much love to give yet I just give more. I'm a free-standing structure. How glad that is, how happy it makes me, and how easy it is to move my foundation - for the roots are only skin deep and appearances are texture based.

"I want your love, I want your revenge

I want your love, I don't wanna be friends"

And I'm done. Reflection is a tool to understand and categorize so that life does not sneak up on you while you're trying to live it. I'm going to try just doing for a bit. It feels good. And god knows that being a verb is much better than a noun.